


I'm on a Boat!!

by akanyanen



Category: Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-07
Updated: 2009-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 03:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12290220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akanyanen/pseuds/akanyanen
Summary: Kanjani8/NewS on Hina's yacht... because why not?Snarkyness and antics abound.





	I'm on a Boat!!

##

 

"Iceberg! On the starboard side, captain!" Maru yells, arms waving frantically. Tegoshi soon joins him and Hina doesn't waste more than a second before he smacks the both of them. 

"You do realize this is Lake Biwa," Shige enunciates carefully. The other two just stare at him. 

They blink and Shige sighs. "Icebergs break off from the polar caps and float in the oceans and—"

Hina smacks Shige too.

"—Hey! What was that for?" Shige looks affronted and Hina just shrugs. 

Yoko laughs. "Hina does it even when it is undeserved." 

A split second later there's the all too familiar sound of hand meeting skull.

"Ow, Murakami," Yoko whines and grumbles under his breath; it sounds like he's wishing carpal tunnel upon Hina. 

##

 

"We should go over rules," Hina starts, and then Yoko interrupts him.

"The SS Toda is my baby, so don't get her dirty or break shit, is what he wants to say," Yoko fills in for him. 

"Let's drink!" Ryo grins, holding up a pack of beer. 

##

 

"But! I want to know once and for all," Yoko whines, reluctantly releasing his grip on Yamapi's swim trunks. Yamapi looks slightly amused but also wary. He's probably afraid that Yoko will try to pants him again. 

Hina slowly lowers his hand and adjusts his own trunks from where Yoko had messed them up. "Idiot," he complains loudly. 

"I'm not an idiot, violent gorilla," Yoko grumbles. "I'm an inquisitive mind."

"He also has a bet going on who's bigger with Subaru," Maru adds, leaning into it just slightly when Yoko grabs for his nipples and twists them in revenge. 

Massu stretches out on the bench seat and just continues munching on a bag of chips, offering some to Ohkura when his intense pitiful look is too piercing to ignore anymore. 

 

##

 

Maru dangles Yasu's donut necklace over the railing of the yacht. 

"I'll never let go Jack….ey!" Maru wails and the chain starts to slip through his fingers. 

"Maru-chan, what are you doing?" Yasu frowns.

Yamapi eyes the donut longingly. 

##

 

"You're sure it is safe," Koyama asks, looking warily over the side of the yacht as it cuts through the water. 

"Yeah, no sharks in Lake Biwa." Ohkura shivers at the mere memory. 

"Huh," Kusano muses, his voice a low drawl, "I thought there were." 

The color drains from Ohkura's face and Kusano laughs. 

"He's a chicken; you shouldn't do that," Ryo says, but he's smiling, amused at Ohkura's expense. 

"Fuck you," Ohkura grumbles. 

##

 

"What?" Yasu looks confused. "You want to draw me….with this?"  
He points at his donut necklace incredulously.

"Nothing but that," Subaru adds, eyes trailing up and down Yasu's body. He smirks. "Take off your clothes." 

"Pervert." Yasu grins but doesn't seem to be bothered by it. 

Yasu sits back down at the helm and Subaru follows him.

##

 

"It's safe to take out without a real boat driver?" Koyama asks again. 

"Don't worry. Yasu got his boating license," Yoko says proudly, a beer in his hand. 

"Yasuda-kun is really something," Koyama says, sounding impressed. 

"We should keep that one around." Yoko grins, pointing at Massu listening to Hina go on and on about something as he tends to the steaks on the grill. "He can gorilla-sit for us."

##

 

He doesn't know how he got himself into standing at the bow of the boat behind Uchi, holding onto his waist so he can spread his arms out and "fly". Ryo fondly imagines snapping each and every romance DVD Uchi owns in two. 

"You're shorter than Leo." Uchi frowns. "And you suck at this."

"Shut up or I'll push you overboard," Ryo grumbles and takes a few seconds to picture shoving Uchi into the water, grinning at his imagined shrill scream and subsequent angry wet rat look.

In the end, Ryo figures the consequences wouldn't really be worth it. 

##

 

"What do you mean Uchi gets the guest suite? " Yoko asks incredulously, "We were all supposed to janken for rooms!" 

Tegoshi looks crestfallen; he's normally good at janken. 

Uchi just grins, absentmindedly rubbing at his jaw. 

Hina doesn't say anything. Shige sighs. 

"Wait there's only six more beds," Shige points out. "Where does everyone else sleep?" 

Silence. 

"Well, Uchi and Hina will just have to share their beds," Koyama supplies. Tegoshi looks hopefully at the both of them and then narrows his eyes when Ohkura slides in a little closer. 

A muscle in Hina's jaw twitches and Uchi clears his throat, pretending to look the other way. 

"Bastards," Yoko mumbles. 

##

 

"…oh wait, Kato, I have a sleeping bag!" Hina disappears off into the depths of his room and emerges with a huge bundle of ratty green fabric. 

Shige lifts it to his nose to get a whiff. 

"How lucky, right, Shige?" Koyama adds and tries not to laugh when Shige's face twists into a funny expression. 

"I'll spray it with my cologne later~" Tegoshi grins and Shige wonders which is worse: sleeping in something that smells like Tegoshi all night or sleeping in something that smells like Hina after soccer practice and a bottle of shochu. 

##

 

Ohkura grabs another beer and sits back down on the couch, unconsciously curling up next to Yamapi.

"He gets girly and slutty when he drinks," Uchi warns Yamapi, laughing when Ohkura sticks out his tongue in retaliation. 

Ohkura rests his head on Yamapi's shoulder and starts humming. 

Ryo snorts. "Pot calling the kettle black much." 

Uchi raises an eyebrow. 

"Shige!" Shige looks up from where he's sitting on top of the rolled sleeping bag. 

"You'll like this: there was this one time when we were juniors and Ryo-chan got a—" Ryo jumps up and shoves a hand over Uchi's mouth, making rest of the secret incomprehensible.

Uchi could lick Ryo's hand and he'd get all grossed out and let go, but Uchi knows where that hand has been. He's not risking it.

When Ryo finally lets him go, Uchi mouths 'I'll tell you later' at Shige. 

Ohkura starts singing a drunken rendition of 'One in a million' and Yamapi gives him a cookie, something to keep his mouth occupied. 

##

 

"So, you want me to share my soft, comfy bed with you?" Uchi asks, a huge grin on his face.

Uchi smirks and Ryo just rolls his eyes, hands slowly undoing the buttons on Uchi's jeans.

"That's right," Uchi murmurs, hand brushing the hair from Ryo's eyes as he leans in closer and pushes his boxers out of the way. 

Ryo wonders if doing this is really worth a night of being kicked and having the bedcovers hogged. At least Uchi is likely to return the favor, he thinks as he looks up at Uchi. 

##

 

Shige sets up camp, grumbling as he struggles to unroll and spread the sleeping bag out on the deck of the boat while still tipsy.

At least the weather isn't bad. 

##

 

"Um, do they…always...?" Massu asks tentatively, slightly disturbed by Ohkura's nonchalant attitude towards the rocking and moaning from the top bunk of the bed.

"Subaru and Yasu? Of course," Ohkura whispers back even though said people are too involved to pay attention to anything but each other. It's not like they actually have any shame or care that the other two are still very much awake.

"Suba—" Yasu makes a strangled grunting noise and Massu shoves his head under a pillow. Massu thinks that if Subaru and Yasu had planned on sharing a bed like this in the first place at least they could've given the second bunk to Shige. 

Subaru cries out (at least Massu is pretty sure it is Subaru) and the creaking sounds intensify. 

On second thought, maybe Shige would prefer being outside in the sleeping bag to being exposed to this. Ohkura starts snoring and Massu figures he must be pretty accustomed to this sort of thing.

##

 

Shige grumbles as he spreads out the sleeping bag on the deck. At least it isn't winter; it's pretty warm outside even at night and he can see the stars.

A few minutes pass and Shige's no closer to getting the sleeping bag zipper undone than he was when he started and all attempts at putting a positive spin on sleeping outside in a sleeping bag on the deck of the "SS Toda" go out the window. 

"Assholes," Shige complains. 

##

 

Kusano stumbles elegantly up onto the deck. 

Shige grunts in pain when Kusano trips over his spleen; he finally made it inside the sleeping bag. 

"Holy shit!" Kusano giggles and then turns around and squints at Shige. His eyes follow the lumpy green sleeping bag. 

"You're a mermaid!" Kusano slurs at him. 

"Kusano?" Shige looks incredulous, not sure if he should laugh or not. 

"What? You know my name?" 

"I—"

"Aren't you supposed to have a bra made of sea shells?" 

Shige opens his mouth to say something and nothing comes out; his brain is on strike. 

"Oh my god, you need to go back home to your mermaid friends, in the water!" 

Kusano in his state of complete inebriation manages to collapse on top of Shige. 

Shige groans and Kusano looks like he's got an idea. Shige's seen that smile before; it doesn't bode well for him. 

##

 

"Pi," Kusano says, tone grave. 

"Last night, I fucked a mermaid." 

Yamapi just nods sagely, and Subaru slides over to ask for details. 

##

 

Shige grumbles. The sleeping bag is still refusing to release his pajama pants from their rusty metal teeth's grasp. He's about ready to just say screw it and strip off his pants, even though walking around naked from the waist down would just be an open invitation to everyone onboard. 

Ryo would also tease him about his habit of not wearing underwear. 

##

 

Ryo wakes up to Uchi's knee in his lower back and arm thrown over his chest. He tries to dislodge him, but Uchi clings tighter. 

"Uchi," Ryo hisses, and shifts until Uchi finally moves his leg and he's relieved for a second or two until Uchi pulls him closer and there's something else poking against his back. 

"Ryo-chan," Uchi mumbles, hands already sliding over Ryo's body. "Morning." 

Kanjani8 has dance practice later on, Ryo thinks, and almost says just that, but then Uchi's hand slides into his boxers and the words die on his lips. 

##

 

"Thanks for the invitation," Yamapi says, looking a little hung over, as everyone stumbles off the boat and onto land after a full day and night together. 

"Anytime." Hina claps him on the back. 

"The boat is really nice!" Koyama adds.

"Yeah, the SS Toda." Hina smiles, looking at the boat fondly. 

When he's still staring at it a few minutes later, they both shrug and slowly walk away. 

##

 

"Shige." Ryo grins as he slides up beside him and helps shove stuff in the car they'll take back to the train station, looking way too amused for whatever he's going to say to be good news.

"Can you buy Hina a new sleeping bag since your, um, little soldiers were all over the inside of it?"

Shige pales. 

"Your hair is getting long," Ryo adds, ruffling it and looking amused at the way the fluffed up pieces poke out at odd angles. 

Shige rolls his eyes at that. His hair looks just fine!

"Nishikido-kun, about that thing that happened when you were a junior…" Shige starts, still trying to smooth his hair back down. Ryo narrows his eyes. 

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Shige looks pleased with himself.

"That bitch," Ryo grumbles and stalks off. 

Shige grins. He has to win sometimes.


End file.
